Sunday, September 15, 2013

Life is Like a Pigeon

It will just shit all over your head when you least expect it.

I finally got my Authorization to Test for my NCLEX-PN. Quite honestly, being one of the last three people in my class to test has made me a nervous wreck. We are a very competitive group of people and I have this fear that I was going to be the only person to fail. So I initially scheduled the exam for 09/19. And then my week promptly turned to shit.

Sunday 8th: I find an opening for the following Thursday. I am such a nervous fucking mess that I decide that I just need to get it over with because studying for my NCLEX and trying not to fail out of my last year of nursing school is just too much.

Monday 9th: I work a 12 hour shift. I come home to discover that Ryan has a fever and he isn't really interested in eating. My mom failed to call me because "she wanted me to focus on my job" What. The. Fuck.

Tuesday 10th: I have class from 8am-5pm. Chris calls me as soon as he picks up the kids and says that Ryan isn't getting any better and now he can't open his mouth wide enough to stick a finger between his teeth. at this point I am freaking out because I spent the last 9 hours in a school where "airway" is always the first concern. We take him to the ER and the CT shows a pus-filled mass in his throat that is shifting his airway to the right. They give him antibiotics and steroids and after 6 hours he is like brand new.

Wednesday 11th: We get home around 2am. I have to take Ryan back to the doctor at 8am. Luckily my clinical instructor is heaven-sent and realizes that we have families and lives outside of school. So I am off the hook for clinicals. The ear, nose, & throat specialist decides that his tonsils need to be removed. We schedule for the following Monday as long as his condition stays the same or gets better.

Thursday 12th: My parents drive me to Albuquerque, NM at 4am. We get there 4 hours later, have breakfast. I'm exhausted and scared out of my mind. I haven't studied a single thing at this point. Ryan's ENT calls me to check on Ryan. I give him Chris' cell phone number. Half an hour later Chris calls me. At this point its an hour before I go test. He tells me that Ryan is getting worse. His jaw is swelling and the specialist wants to remove his tonsils now. Except I am about to take a life altering test and am not even in the same goddamn state as my baby boy who is about to undergo his first surgery ever. Not only do I feel like a piece of shit mom for not being there but I physically feel like I want to throw up. I blast through my NCLEX in 1 hour. They allow you up to 5 hours to take this test. Let me just tell you that this was they longest drive home ever. I wanted nothing more than to be with my baby.

I am very lucky to work in healthcare and have friends that work at the hospital and take such great care of my son when I couldn't be there. Ryan is feeling like a new person only 3 days post-op. I still feel guilty that I wasn't there but I'm just going to have to work threw that.

Hopefully Life has had enough entertainment at my expense and will move on because I would love to have a few boring weeks.

My test results will be posted Monday. Fingers crossed that I passed.