Friday, December 19, 2014

Creeping on 30

Tomorrow I turn 29. I'm sitting around watching Gilmore Girls and writing my last minute list of Christmasy things I forgot to do.

I thought now would be a good time to write up my goal list for next year because after tomorrow I'll sort of be in go mode for the rest of the year.

For myself:
-Exercise 3 times a week
-Find a hobby
-Go skydiving
-Go whitewater rafting

For my marriage:
-Take 2 vacations. One being a long overdue honeymoon.
-Go on at least 2 dates a month
-Talk face to face at least 15 minutes a day with no outside distractions
-Laugh more
-Pick my battles and argue more
-Continue working on meeting each others needs

For my family:
-Take 2 vacations
-Replace couches with couches made for snuggling
-Say yes more

For my career:
-Start BSN
-Complete MSE book

For my finances:
-Save $1000
-Pay off debt
-Save 3 months of expenses
-Budget monthly hobby money

So that's it. Probably not the most extravagent list but it's what I want for 2015.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Mambo No.5

I've decided that I need an outlet so I want to start writing again in my little corner of the internet. This last year has been so fraught with pain and hard shit that I am just now starting to work through it all with the help of a therapist.

Now I feel like I have a newfound directions, as slow as my steps might be. So I guess now I can bring all 3 of you up to speed on life and all that jazz.

I'm working full time as a nurse. I'm just starting night shift so that's going to be an adjustment. But so far I'm loving my job and learning new things every day.

Chris and I are in marriage counseling. The last few years have been more difficult than either of us would admit and it all sort of came to a head. But I'm hopeful about the opportunity to find more fulfillment in our relationship. For the first time in a very long time our marriage is a priority. The great news is that we have been reminded why we fell in love. Learning how to meet my husband's needs and how to ask for what I need has definitely been an interesting lesson. But the bottom line is that we are best friends and a lot can be said for our desire to do the hard work.

My boys are just peachy. Growing like weeds and eating every thing in sight. Seriously where does it go? I already told Chris that he will probably need a second job just to pay for groceries when they hit the teenage years.

I have some goals for 2015 that I'm excited about. I turn 29 on the 20th so I really feel that push to mark things off my bucket list and leave my 20s with a bang. I'll share those later.

Sunday, July 27, 2014

The Return of High School

I'm coming out of my little blogging funk to talk about my 10 year reunion. But I guess in order to do that I would have to take you back to high school.

I've lived in SJ since I was 7. I would say that St. Johns High School is just like any small town high school in the country. There were definitely cliques, everybody loves football, and there is never a short supply of weekend shenanigans off a dirt road.

My freshman and sophomore year were very much spent acting holier than thou. I hung out with a group of people from my church. Everything we did surrounded this church and our youth group. Freshmen year is a time where you are trying to figure out where you are going to fit into this daunting high school experience. So I clung tightly to this group that took me in. But everyone that I knew was a junior or senior.

And at the end of my sophomore year because of a falling out I had with my church (which is the entire basis for my mistrust of religion, but that's another post for another day) I was off to figure out, once again where I fit into the high school experience. My junior year I dated two idiots, I went to prom looking like Cinderella, and I fell into partying like something out of a Lifetime movie. And I also used to wear these snazzy pair of teal colored snake skin pants. They are every bit as hideous as they sound.

At the end of junior year I met Chris. And the summer that followed was one for the books. It's everything that falling in love is supposed to look like if you're small town. There were midnight dashes threw the park sprinklers, hiding from the police in a ditch, chasing frogs in the rain, parties where you just know the person hosting is going to get killed by their parents, and enough Strawberry Hill and Peppermint Schnapps to make me sick just thinking about it.

Senior year starts with so much energy. Everyone is trying to plan the rest of their lives and in a rush to get everything in order to finally move on. I was taking welding through NAVIT and was on the ACADEC team. The plan was to get a scholarship, move to the valley with Chris, and figure out what type of careers we would have so that we could travel frequently. But here is the thing about plans...someone once told me that if you want to hear God laugh tell Him your plans.

Over Christmas break that year I found out I was pregnant. It was like being on a train watching all the bright lights moving around you and suddenly the power goes out and the train stops. I had to stop taking welding (because apparently welding fumes aren't awesome from brain development), I dropped out of ACADEC, and I switched all of my classes up so that I could do the minimum and just get done. My thoughts of college flew out of my window. And I stopped talking to my friends. I went to school, got my shit done and went to work or home. Looking back I was massively depressed. I watched everyone filled with so much excitement about their future. The whole 'world is ours for the taking' attitude. And all I had was a drowning sense of the unknown and a promise from a man that he would take care of me and this baby.

We all know how this story changes. How I've changed. How life turned out better than I could have expected. But I feel like its necessary to understand my high school experience to understand my thoughts on my 10 year reunion.

I really don't know why but I was nervous. Possibly too much Romey & Michelle. Possibly too many stories about reunions gone terribly wrong. But all of those nerves flew out the window when I arrived. This was quite possibly the most laid back reunion ever. We mingled, had dinner, watched a slide show from our graduation, and took a tour of the school (Seriously, SJ budget for new carpet), and then went home to our families.

There were people there that I couldn't remember for the life of me. And I can't tell you how many times people thanked me for being their FB friend (because obviously I'm a riot). I even got my backside diddled during our group picture (You're welcome very much Bailey). Honestly, there were only a handful of people that I was even curious about. And I think the reason for that is because I almost never hung out with people from my own class. I didn't really know them to begin with, so I know them even less a decade later. There were a few women that I would have kindly liked to remove the stick from their asses because I'm sure it gets uncomfortable from spending a lifetime acting superior. Other than that everyone was great. I can't say it enough. I had so much fun catching up.

After our reunion someone posted something on Facebook that essentially said people never change and she still sits on the sidelines. And I say get your ass off the sidelines. It's a metaphor for life. Go where the action is. Laugh a little. Stop waiting for life to approach you and offer you a good time. Life doesn't work that way. Because I'll be damned if I live my life waiting for the 10 year approval of people that I hardly know.

I hope everyone goes on to live a life that makes them happy and fulfilled. I hope everyone goes on to find adventure and love. I hope everyone goes on to live intentionally. Grab life by the horns and smack it's ass while you're at it. Go! Big! Red!